Fighting to Feel
by Kaida Black
Summary: Something terrible happened and now everything has gone numb. Now Terry Mcginnis must fight for his life and fight to feel again. He must put his trust in people he barely knows and a haunted rebel by the name of Faye Fortier.
1. Recalling to Past

Chapter 1  
Recalling the Past  
  
"Terry I cant help you if you won't let me." Said Dr.Colman as he looked at me with frustration.  
  
How did I get myself into this? How did I wind up in this place? Oh yes. How could I forget? Thank you so much you bastard. The memories flooded my mind as I looked away from Dr. Colman and out the window.  
  
It was almost a month ago. I had been walking down the streets after another horrible date with Dana. She had told me that I didn't care. That I was never there for her and that I could never keep my promises. Maybe she was right. I didn't know anymore. I let my feet guide me home as I found myself lost in my thoughts.  
  
That is until someone grabbed me. They pulled me into the alley and held me against the wall. I couldn't move. They were so strong. I felt something cold and sharp against my neck. Oh god it was a knife. I could barely breathe from fear that I would be cut and left to bleed to death.  
  
"Don't worry," he whispered "I'm not going to kill you. Not yet anyway. I think we should have a little fun before you die. Don't you think?"  
  
My mind didn't register what was happening. All I could feel was the pain and then that's when everything went numb. I couldn't feel anything. Physically or emotionally.  
  
For some reason the bastard let me live. Why couldn't he have killed me? So I didn't have to live with this secret. He had threatened everything I held dear if I told and said he would find me no matter what. I believed him. God did I believe him. I walked out of the ally my clothes in shambles and blood oozing from every cut he made.  
  
What was I going to do? I couldn't go home like this. Mom would freak and I would never let Matt see me like this. Bruce. I could go to him. But what would I tell him? It didn't matter I had to get some place safe. I couldn't stay here. He might come back. I dialed Bruce on my cell phone and waited as it rang.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Help me." I whispered.  
  
"Terry? What happened?"  
  
"I.....I was attacked....by Jokers." I lied.  
  
"Alright stay where you are. I'll come and get you."  
  
He hung up.  
  
Yes, Bruce would find me. He would track my cell phone and be here any minute. I didn't have to wait long. His black car came speeding along. Almost missing me. The car stopped and I stumbled towards it. Bruce got out and met me half way. Grabbing me as I almost fell.  
  
"Jesus, Terry you're cold as ice." He said as he helped me to the car.  
  
I was? I couldn't feel the cold. I was numb to it. We sat in silence as Alfred drove us back to the Manor. We didn't speak at all until after Bruce had taken me to the bat cave and bandaged all my injuries.  
  
What happened Terry?" He asked as he sat in his chair at the computer.  
  
I couldn't speak for a minute. My voice wouldn't come to me. I couldn't tell him the truth he would be hurt like everyone else. I decided to stick to what I had told him earlier. "I was walking home after my date with Dana and I was jumped by a group of jokers."  
  
He didn't believe me. I could see it in his eyes. Thankfully he just sighed and let it go.  
  
"You better get home." He said turning his back on me. "It's late. You've fallen asleep in class enough already."  
  
I muttered an ok and then left. When I got home I found my mom asleep in the recliner. She must have been waiting up for me. Matt was no where to be seen. He must already be in bed. Walking over to her I picked her up and took her to her room. After I laid her in her bed and kissed her goodnight. I went to my own room and walked to my bed. I didn't even lie down before sleep took me.  
  
I lived with my secret for about three weeks before things started to go down hill. I stopped eating, I blew off my friends and Dana, I started skipping class, and getting in fights with my mother. I worked out nonstop and was ruthless on my patrol.  
  
Then it happened. I was out one night at a club with Dana and Max. One of the few times that I didn't ditch them. We were talking in line while waiting to get in. When someone came up behind me.  
  
"Hello Terry." Said a man's voice behind me.  
  
The blood ran cold in my veins. No it couldn't be him. I turned around to face who had spoken to me. My eyes widened with terror as I looked at the person before me. It was him!! An evil smirk played on his features. I started backing away through the crowd of people. I didn't care who I bumped into. I just had to get away.  
  
"Terry? What's wrong aren't you happy to see me?" he said to me.  
  
"No! Stay away from me! Don't touch me!" I screamed at him.  
  
I ran from him. Ran from my fear. Ran from everything. I had to get away from him. I didn't want to be hurt, again. I kept running till my breath came in rasps. Till my legs could barely carry me anymore and even then I kept running. Even now I don't know how I made it to Bruce's Manor but I ran all the way across town to it.  
  
I was almost there when it started to rain. I nearly fell as I rounded the ledge. The rain beat down on me and the wind was like ice. I was soaked by the time I reached the gates but I didn't care all I wanted was to be away from him. When I got there I banged on the gates, screaming. "Bruce!! Let me in. Please god let me in! Bruce! Help me. Open the gates damn it."  
  
The gates opened and I sprinted up to the door. The old man was waiting for me a terrified look on his face. I probably didn't look the greatest but this was the first time I had seen him really and truly scared. My vision started to blur and I couldn't breath. The ground came up to meet me and everything faded into black. I never made it to the door.  
  
Everything was so bright. Damn, it was making my head throb. My eyes started to adjust to the light. As soon as I could see. I knew where I was. A hospital. What the hell am I doing in a hospital?  
  
"Terry." Called someone softly to my right.  
  
I looked to see that it was the old man sitting in a chair next to my bed. Everyone was there. Mom, Matt, Dana, Max, even Ace. I smiled and patted the bed for Ace to come here. He came to me and hopped easily on to the bed beside me. I petted his head gingerly as I stared at the ceiling.  
  
"Terry. Can you look at me please?"  
  
I looked to see a man standing beside Bruce that I hadn't noticed before. He was a tall man. His black hair was short and spiky. His face was chiseled which made his gray eyes stand out immensely. He had on a white button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up and part of the front tucked into his worn jeans. He seemed like he should be on a ranch somewhere not here in the city.  
  
"Terry my name is Dr. Colman. I need to ask you a few questions so we can help you heal faster."  
  
I just nodded.  
  
"Ok good. Now it's obvious by your build that you work out. How often and long do you work out?"  
  
"Anytime I can."  
  
"On average."  
  
I think for a moment before responding. "Everyday for 6 hours."  
  
"So you work out six hours total. How do you spilt it up?"  
  
"I don't. I go six hours straight."  
  
Dr. Colman frowned. "I see. That's not good for you Terry. When was the last time you ate?"  
  
"Maybe three or four days ago."  
  
Their was a sizable gasp from almost everyone in the room.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I....I just wasn't hungry."  
  
"That's very peculiar. We'll talk about that later. Now moving on. Where were you before you came to Mr. Wayne's two nights ago?"  
  
So I had been out for a day and a half. "I was on 23rd street at that new club Frozen Fire with Dana and Max."  
  
"And how did you get to Mr. Wayne's house?"  
  
"I ran."  
  
He was truly shocked at this. "What?! But that's all the way at the opposite side of town!"  
  
"I don't know how I did it. I....just did."  
  
"May I ask what made you run?"  
  
I shook my head. I couldn't tell him. I couldn't tell anybody.  
  
"Terry you have to work with me. I need you to help me so I can help you."  
  
"No!" I all but screamed.  
  
"Ok, ok." He turned to Dana and Max, "Did you see who he ran from?"  
  
"No we didn't." said Dana.  
  
"Be glad you didn't." I said.  
  
"But that's just it Terry. There was no one there. There was no one behind us outside the club."  
  
I stared at her in disbelief. How could that be? I saw him! I buried my head in my hands. This couldn't be happening! Was I going crazy? There was one way to find out. I sat up in bed much to the protest of everyone else in the room. I reached up and undid the buttons of the hospital gown I was wearing. The light cloth fell off of me and I heard every gasp, even Mr. Wayne. He had seen my scars unlike the rest of them but he hadn't seen the scar that I hoped wouldn't be there. That I hoped I had dreamed up. But no it was still there. It was right over my heart. He had made it deep so it would be seen clearly. I traced my fingers over the words. Your Mine. They would never fade. Just like the memory of what he did to me.  
  
"Terry? Who did this to you?" asked my mother. Of all people it had to be her to ask me that.  
  
My shoulders shook as I began to sob. I could feel the tears began to slide down my cheeks. Why me? Why did this have to happen to me? I already had so much to deal with. Dad being gone. Being Batman. Trying to keep my relationship with Dana which at the moment didn't exist. I can't take this much longer or I'm going to explode.  
  
Someone was holding me. I didn't care. I just wanted for it to end. I just wanted to make all the pain go away. I cried for what seemed like an eternity. I cried till I had no more tears left to cry. I looked up after I had stopped crying to see who was holding me. To my surprise it was Bruce.  
  
"Terry," I looked to see Dr. Colman talking to me. "I would like you to come to my ranch in Colorado. There are many boys and girls like you there who have gone through many trials just as you have. I know I can help you if you let me."  
  
I nodded. It would be good to get away from everything. Maybe this guy could help me. 


	2. Getting There

Chapter 2  
Getting There  
  
I looked out the ceiling to floor windows in the airport at the plane that would take me to the ranch in Colorado. The plane that was to take us was Mr. Wayne's private jet. It would fly us to Denver, Colorado and then we would have to drive to Lamar, Colorado where the ranch was.  
  
"Terry, it's time to go." Said Dr.Colman.  
  
I nodded and picked up my bag. Turning to Matt and Mom I said goodbye before walking onto the plane. Sitting in one of the many seats on the plane I got out my CD player. It was going to be a long flight. Opening my CD case I flipped through it trying to find something to listen to. I finally picked my Hoobastank CD. Max had always asked me how I could listen to something so old but I liked it. It helped me relax and god did I need to relax. After putting on the headphones and pressing play. The music flooded my ears as the guitar became my only focus.  
  
I will dedicate  
  
And sacrifice my everything for just a second's worth  
  
Of how my story's ending  
  
And I wish I could know if the directions that I take  
  
And all the choices that I make won't end up all for nothing  
  
I breathed deeper as the music consumed me. Taking me away from this hell I was in. Away from the numbness that had begun to creep up on the edges of my soul.  
  
Show me what it's for  
  
Make me understand it  
  
I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer  
  
Is there something more than what I've been handed?  
  
I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer  
  
My muscles that had been taunt for so long finally relaxed. The pounding in my head began to lessen. Slowly my body gave way to illusions.  
  
Help me carry on  
  
Assure me it's ok to use my heart and not my eyes  
  
To navigate the darkness  
  
Will the ending be ever coming suddenly?  
  
Will I ever get to see the ending to my story?  
  
Show me what it's for  
  
Make me understand it  
  
I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer  
  
Is there something more than what I've been handed?  
  
I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer  
  
So when and how will I know?  
  
How much further do I have to go?  
  
How much longer until I finally know?  
  
Because I'm looking and I just can't see what's in front of me  
  
In front of me  
  
The world had gone away. Reality had exiled me for that moment and I was no longer bond by its laws  
  
Show me what it's for  
  
Make me understand it  
  
I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer  
  
Is there something more than what I've been handed?  
  
I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer  
  
Someone was pulling me from my world of illusions. Away from the comfort of things not real. Back to the hell of reality. My eyes opened to see Mr. Wayne. Wait a minute Mr. Wayne?  
  
"What are you doing here?" I asked him confused.  
  
"I came along for moral support." He replied. "Come on we're here."  
  
I looked out the window to my left to see that we had indeed landed. I stuffed my things back in my bag before I stood and followed the old man off the plane. We walked out of the airport a little while later after having gone through the security and all that. Dr.Colman led us to a rather large silver F350 Ford pickup truck. I threw mine and Mr. Wayne's stuff into the back before I helped Mr. Wayne climb inside. After I got inside and shut the door the doctor revved the engine and we left the airport in our wake. The airport was at the edge of town, so it wasn't long before there was no sign of life but the vultures that swarmed the sky looking for some dead cow to feed on. I watched the treeless landscape pass by as we zoomed down the interstate. It was supposedly a four hour drive from Denver to Lamar. It was going to be a long ride. Not to mention the way the road was bumping I couldn't slip into my illusion world. What idiots did they higher to pave these roads? A sigh escaped my lips. It was DEFINETLY going to be a long ride.  
  
"Hey Terry. There's my ranch up ahead on the left." Dr.Colman informed me after the four hour drive was finally coming to an end.  
  
Looking out the window of the car I saw what looked to be a mansion in this deserted place. I couldn't see much only the outline because we were so far away. As we got closer things became clearer and I could see that it was as big as I had originally thought. Yes the house was big but it was only two stories tall. There was another building to the right of the house but I couldn't make out what it was. To the left there were stables and a fenced in part where some kids were riding. One caught my eye. A large black horse was making jumps near the fence. Though it wasn't the horse that had caught my eye. It was the rider. The girl riding the black mare was beautiful. Her long white hair shown in the sun like fresh snow. The way she rode gave off an air of astounding grace. She looked towards the road seeing the truck she turned the horse galloping toward the fence. The horse jumped the fence with ease. They galloped after the truck and caught up with it quickly. The girl raced along side us as we drove down the road.  
  
Dr.Colman laughed. "How many times have I told that girl not to race that horse like that?"  
  
He honked the horn loud at her. She stuck her tongue out childishly but slowed her horse down and we left her in a cloud of dust.  
  
We reached the house a couple of minutes later. I climbed out of the truck. Thankful to be able to stand and stretch after sitting down for so long. Dr.Colman helped Mr. Wayne out of the truck while I climbed onto the back to retrieve our bags.  
  
"So who was that girl?" I asked the doctor as I threw one of the bags down to him.  
  
"Ask her yourself. Here she comes." He nodded behind me.  
  
I looked and indeed there she was trotting up on her horse. She came right up next to the truck before she stopped.  
  
"What Dr.Cole to afraid to race me and BB?" she said patting the horse's neck.  
  
"No I'm afraid you're going to kill that horse doing that. Just because his name is Black Bullet doesn't mean he can go as fast as bullet."  
  
She just shrugged her strong shoulders. Turning her head she looked at me. Her eyes stared at me and I almost lost myself in those gorgeous green eyes. She smiled and then said, "You must be new here. I'm Faye Fortier."  
  
"Terry McGinnis." I said returning her smile.  
  
"Terry will be staying with us for awhile." Said Dr.Colman. "Now Faye take that horse back to the stables and give him some water. It's almost time for dinner."  
  
Dinner? I wasn't hungry. I just wanted to lie down and sleep. It had been a long day. I came out of my thoughts and saw that Faye had already gone. I finished unloading the bags and jumped down from the bed of the truck.  
  
"Follow me and I'll show you to your rooms. You'll have time to settle in before dinner."  
  
Dr.Colman picked up Mr. Wayne's bags and started for the house. I grabbed my own bags and followed him. As I followed the doctor through the door to the house I automatically got that sweet southern comfort feeling that you see in a lot of southern homes. I could see the living room to my left. The walls were painted a light yellow. They were covered with pictures and various country things. There was a fire place with a couch, a recliner, and a rather comfy looking rocking chair making a horse shoe around it.  
We started up the stairs and the walls were lined with pictures of kids of all ages. Dr.Colman explained that they were pictures of every kid that had been there.  
  
"You'll be up there soon enough." He added.  
  
He continued up the stairs and then turned to his left at the top. Stopping at a door near the stairs he pushed it open to reveal an asian inspired room. The walls were a battleship gray color and had several asian paintings on the walls. There were two beds and they both had black and white bedding. There was two of everything. Two nightstands, two closets, two dressers, and two desks. They both had laptop computers and phones. There was a door to the left that led to a bathroom.  
  
"Wow." I murmered.  
  
"Glad you like it. I read your file and figured you would like this one. Johnny sure did when he first came here." Said Dr.Colman as I started into the room.  
  
"Johnny?"  
  
"Yes, Johnny Black. He'll be your roommate. Everyone who lives here has a roommate. Every room has its own bathroom. As well as its own theme. The decorator was very good."  
  
I nodded. Walking towards the bed I flopped down on it and sighed. It was a very comfy bed. Hell I could have slept on a rock as tired as I was.  
  
Mr.Wayne chuckled. "Jet Lag? Come on you can sleep after dinner."  
  
I shook my head and my voice was muffled by the pillow as I said no.  
  
"Come on Terry. Stumpy is making Beefalo brisket, garlic mashed potatoes, green beans, biscuits, and sausage gravy." Said Dr.Colman.  
  
"Beefalo?" I said raising my head. "What's that?"  
  
"Come to dinner and find out." He said smiling at me.  
  
I snorted but got up anyway. We headed downstairs and wonderful smells wafted to my nose. My mouth began to water. I couldn't wait to taste some down home southern cooking.  
  
We entered the dining room and I was surprised to see all the kids the surrounded the table. Only three seats were left.  
  
"Everyone this is Terry." Dr.Colman said as the group of kids all stared at me. Some smiling. Some with questioning looks. "He's going to be staying with us. I know you will all make him feel welcome. That means no bats in his room,Eric. I don't think Johnny would appreciate it either."  
  
A boy with blue spiked hair snapped his fingers in mock disappointment.  
  
"Don't worry Doc I love bats." I said smiling at the boy they called Eric. He smiled back.  
  
Mr.Wayne chuckled.  
  
"Right. Anyway. Terry why don't you sit between Faye and Johnny." Said Dr.Colman as he and Mr.Wayne sat down.  
  
I walked down to the other end of the table and sat next to the white haired beauty from earlier.  
  
"Johnny Black. Guess you're my roommate now." Said the dude on the other side of me. His hair was black hair was slicked back and streaked with blood red. His piercing eyes were an icy green.  
  
"Terry McGinnis. Guess so."  
  
Johnny opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by Dr.Colman. "Stumpy! Come on. We're hungry."  
  
"Alright, Alright. I'm coming. Hold your horses." Someone yelled from the kitchen.  
  
Out walked an old bolegged man straight from an old western movie. He was bald with a shaggy white beard. He hobbled his way into the room carrying to large plates of meat. He set them down on each end of the table before turning to Faye.  
  
"Faye, go and get the mashed potatoes."  
  
She nodded standing to go retrieve the food. Coming back with two large steamy bowls of fluffy white mashed potatoes. Stumpy was right behind her with the green beans. After they set them down, they headed back to the kitchen and returned with the biscuits and gravy.  
  
Faye sat back down and Stumpy walked back into the kitchen. The second the bolegged man hobbled through the door. Everyone dug into the food. They all grabbed as much as they could fit onto their plates. After everyone had gotten what they wanted. It seemed to settle down. Terry tasted the meat and found it delisious. He tried everything else to find it just as tasty.  
  
"So Terry. Where you from?" asked Johnny. Grabbing another biscuit from the basket in the middle of the table.  
  
"Gotham." I said simply.  
  
"So we got ourselves a big city boy do we." Said Faye.  
  
"Oh shut up Faye you're from the city too." Said Johnny.  
  
"Yea but I didn't live in a big city like Gotham." Replied Faye.  
  
"Where are you from?" I asked interrupting this little argument before it got out of hand.  
  
"Oceanside." She replied.  
  
"A Cali girl huh? Shway.(A/N. is that how u spell that? Cause I have no idea.)"  
  
She looked at me surprised.  
  
"What?"  
  
"You're the first person to actually know where Oceanside is."  
  
"I got stuck in Oceanside a couple of years ago. I was on my way to visit some family when my car broke down. Had to stay a like a week while my car was fixed."  
  
We continued to talk until dinner was over. On various things but mostly the talk was centered around me. Which I found strange but I didn't say anything about it.  
  
We left the dining room a little while after Stumpy served the desert. It was cherry pie. My favorite. It was the best cherry pie I had ever had. We walked up the stairs and I was about to follow Johnny into the room when a voice called to my left.  
  
"What's the matter Terry cant say goodnight?"  
  
I looked to see Faye leaning on the door frame of the room next to mine.  
  
"Good Night Faye."  
  
"Nighty Night Terry."  
  
I watched as she turned her back on me and walked into her room before I walked into mine. 


	3. Keaira

**Chapter 3**

**The Deal**

The pain coursed through me as silver carved words into my chest. I didn't want to open my eyes. I didn't want to see what I knew was there. Though some unknown force refused to obey me. Black faded and shapes took form. There he was. His tongue was like sandpaper as he licked the blood away from my chest as to see his handy work. His blade had dug into my skin. Deep enough to leave those horrid words visible to anyone who looked upon my chest. Though not deep enough to kill me and let me slip from my shame into sweet bliss of death. No, the pleasure of ending my life would be his and his alone. Then something snapped within me as his lusty eyes met mine. Before I knew it he was done on the ground watching as the life slipped from him and formed a puddle around him. Something was wrong with me. It felt good to kill. To good. It felt as if I was holding Dana in my arms and tasting her sweet lips. But the sweet taste was not her lips. It was the blood on my hands. My body walked away from me. Eyes cold and devoid of and emotion. Any life. That had once filled me. No. This couldn't be. It couldn't be happening. It wasn't possible. No. No. No!

I jerked up in bed as the last of my screaming plea escaped my lips. I could feel the cold sweat as it mixed with the tears flowing from my eyes. My chest burned, I could barely breathe. My eyes were tight shut fearing what I might see if I opened them.

"Terry?"

Faye. I opened my eyes to see her next to me. God it was good to see her face. The face of someone who didn't know the horror or the pain. My tension waned a little as my mind processed that she was there.

"Terry, are you He stood there at the edge of my bed with concern written plainly on his face. Bruce stood next to him. I must have woken up the whole damn house.

I chuckled though my laugh held no amusement. "Am I ok? Does it look like I'm ok?" I asked him coldly.

"No you look like hell. Come with me."

I stood up to follow him but grabbed the edge of my bed. Waiting for the dizziness to pass. I felt a hand on my arm and looked to see Faye concern written in her emerald eyes. It amazed me how a girl I just met earlier that night could be so concerned for me. I smiled at her weakly before I followed He stopped outside my door waiting me to follow. I stepped outside seeing Johnny leaning against the railing. He was about to say something when interrupted him.

"Johnny. Faye. Go to bed."

"No," I said quickly grabbing Faye's hand. "I want her to come."

I wanted her with me. I didn't know why but it made me relax a little seeing her there next to merely nodded his head and led the way downstairs. I followed him down the stairs to the living room with Faye right behind me. I hadn't let go of her hand. The fireplace was bright as the fire within set a glowing warmth over the room. My eyes never saw and my ears didn't hear leave the room.

Faye pulled me towards the couch and I blindly followed. My mind was too hazy to think. All I could do was follow. I felt her push on my shoulder gently as if to tell me to sit down. I guess some how she understood what my mind was going through. How it was in a state of shock so I couldn't really think. Yet, somewhere in the back of my mind I knew every detail of everything around me.

She sat there next to me softly stroking my hand with her fingers. Making little circles and figure eights every so lightly. It had become my only focus. She stopped and reached up for something before placing a warm mug in my hand.

My fingers curled around the mug trying to capture the heat and fight some of the cold within me. I took a sip of the warm brown liquid and felt it slip down my throat and down threw my chest. It tasted like potpourri. Its spicy scent filled my senses as I breathed in deeply.

"Terry."

I looked up to see a very serious looking sitting in the soft arm chair to my left. Oh lord here it comes.

"Terry what happened in your dream?"

I didn't say anything. I couldn't. My mouth was dry and my throat was sore. So I just sat there starring into the fire.

"Terry, I can't help you if you don't let me."

Silence reigned.

He sighed deeply but said nothing.

There were footsteps on the stairs and the faint sound of a phone ringing. Johnny appeared in the doorway with my cell phone ringing in his hand. He handed it to me and I stood to take it from him.

"Hello?" I said answering it.

"Hello Terry."

_Oh God_. I threw the phone as if it burned. It hit the wall across the room and fell to the floor in pieces.

"Terry! What's wrong?"

"It was him. Dear God it was him." My voice was barely audible. My legs could no longer hold me and I sank to the floor. My body shook in voluntarily.

Faye took me in her arms and held me close. I could tell it was her because she smelled like vanilla. It seemed odd that she was holding me and not me holding her. Though at the moment I didn't care. She held me till I calmed enough so that I wasn't shaking. She loosened her hold on me as I leaned back but didn't let go. I leaned against the couch my mind reeling. _He found me. He knew where I was. He was going to come after me. He would kill me the first chance he got. _Then something in me sparked. _Then I wouldn't give him that chance._

"I'll make you a deal." I said to suddenly finding my voice. "You bring me someone and I'll talk."

"Who?" asked quizzically.

"Do we have a deal?"

He eyed me for a minute as if judging whether I had gone insane or not.

"Yes."

I jumped about three feet in the air and hit my knee on the coffee table. Hard. I turned around to see who had spoken.

"Damn it old man. Don't do that."

Mr.Wayne just laughed.

"It seems you have a deal, Terry" glared at Bruce. "Who?"

"Felipe Rodriguez."

"Who is he to you?"

"He's my older brother."

"What?!"

A smile crept up on my lips. "I guess you missed the part in my background that said Paul McGinnis was my step-father."

"Guess I did but if McGinnis wasn't your father who is?"

"Gabriel Rodriguez."

The Doc's jaw dropped at this.

"Yep, the Angel of Death himself. One of the largest drug lords out there."

I could see the questioning looks they were all giving me. They didn't understand. They needed me to explain.

I sighed my shoulders slumping slightly. "Alright , sit down. This is going to take awhile."

The Doc sat down in the rocking chair. While Mr.Wayne eased himself into the soft cushions of the recliner. Johnny hopped over the back of the couch and landed easily on the bouncy cushions. Faye crawled up on the couch behind me.

"Gabriel and my mother met in college. They started dating and eventually fell in love and got married. Later on they had me and my brother. As we grew our father began to train us. He trained us in everything. Fighting, hunting, weaponry. Everything. We would train for hours, for days with no end. We had become cold and ruthless. Just as he wanted us. Then one day our father told us to rest up. Something he never told us to do. Our final test was coming. My mother found out that our father was going to have us kill a man. I would never leave my mother but for some reason my brother chose to stay with our father. My mother and I escaped that night leaving my brother behind. I didn't want to leave him. He was my brother and we were very close. It wasn't until I was 15 that I saw him again." I paused letting them absorb what I had just said. "He can help me. Help me get back to who I used to be. Even if it scares me to death." I whispered that last part so that no one would hear.

It was silent for what seemed like an eternity. That is until Johnny yawned and announced he was going to bed.

"That sounds like a good idea." Said 

"I'm staying here." I told opened his mouth to protest but seemed to think better of it and merely nodded.

Faye didn't move to go with them but I didn't care. We sat in silence just watching the fire as it danced in the fire place. My neck had begun to ache. I rubbed it with my hand trying, if possible, to relieve some of the tension. Then I felt Faye remove my hand from my neck. I was about to ask why when she started to massage my neck. The words died in my mouth. Oh God, that felt good. She slowly worked the muscles in my neck. Easing the tension and strain. She worked her way down to the base of my neck and out to my shoulders. She pushed the heel of her hand on my shoulder near my neck. It hurt like hell for a moment but then I felt the muscles in my shoulders relax considerably. After she finished with my shoulders and my neck she moved to work on my back. She rubbed her knuckles down my spine. Then worked the area between my shoulder blades and spine. When she finished with my back. She moved up to run her hands through my hair and started one of those "deep conditioning" moves on my scalp. I leaned my head back against the couch and she moved her fingers to rub my temples. The throbbing in my head lessened and then finally stopped. I sighed deeply as she finished.

"That better?" she asked smiling.

"Much." I replied. My eyes slid shut as I sighed again.

"Terry."

"Yea?"

"Why are you so afraid to be who you used to be?"

My eyes shot open and widened. She had heard me!

"Terry you can tell me. I'm not the Doc and I'm not going to say anything to him. I promise you that. Hell I might even be able to help you. I don't forget I'm here for a reason too."

Why is she here? I would have to remember to ask her later.

"I lied."

"What?"

I sighed. I seemed to be doing that a lot lately. I climbed onto the couch opposite of her before I explained. "My mother didn't leave because she found out what was to come. She left because of what happened during the final test." I paused for a moment trying to gather my thoughts. "My brother and I sat in our rooms waiting for when our father would call to each of us and our final test would begin. I waited for what seemed to be an eternity in an hour, as my brother went. Then finally the door to my room opened and my father said it was time. Our weapons were of our own choosing. I carried my knifes and a gun. My father led me to the edge of the forest that was on one side of our home and told me that I was to hunt a man who had gone in five minutes before. My mission was to bring him back alive. There was no time limit. Before I knew it I was deep into the forest following what little trail there was. Whoever it was, wasn't new to this game. I couldn't find any footprints and it was so quite I thought my ears would explode. I looked for anything, any clue that would help me. Then I saw it. A twig hung from a bush fallen from a low branch on a leafy tree behind it. I walked soundlessly up to the tree, trying to see if my prey had left me any more clues. He had left me one more. I could smell him. The stench of sweat mingled with the foul essence of cigar smoke. He was in the tree! I leaped back just he tried to jump on top of me. My knife sliced through the air as it flew straight towards the man whose face I couldn't see. He barely dogged and my knife embedded itself in the tree behind him. We fought hand to hand combat. Each landing a fair amount of blows. He kicked me in the small of my back and I tumbled to the ground. I tried to roll away but he jumped on my stomach knocking the wind out of me and effectively breaking a few of my ribs. His hands were on my neck in a second, keeping the air from my lungs. Then something within me snapped. I was told later that my eyes had turned read. With a strength I didn't know I had I threw him off me. Some how dislocating his shoulder in the process. He hit a tree and gave an agonizing cry. I could see everything that was happening but I couldn't control my body. I screamed for my body to stop as it advanced towards the man, pulling out my other knife and holding it as if to kill. The man looked up at me in horror and barely whispered 'Mercy Keaira' while clutching his shoulder. 'No rest. No mercy. No matter what.' The words were not of my choosing nor were they from my voice yet they cam from my mouth. I brought my knife down to slash his throat but was tackled by my brother who had been watching the whole time. My head hit a rock and everything went black.

She didn't say anything but merely wiped away the tears I didn't know I had shed.

"I'm afraid because I don't want to become him. I don't want to be Keaira. I'm afraid because I don't know whether I'll be able to lock him away again."


End file.
